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[Reading] ➾ Curses! A F***ed Up Fairytale By J.A. Kazimer –

Curses! A F***ed Up Fairytale Rumpelstiltskin Or RJ, As He Prefers To Be Called Has Been Kicked Out Of The Villain S Guild And Cursed To Do Good Deeds Bored Without His Villainous Routine, He Agrees To Help Anastasia Maledotto Find Out Who Murdered Her Stepsister, Cinderella, And Rescue Her Sister, Drusilla, From A Disastrous Marriage To Prince Charming Kazimer Is Squarely On The Side Of Cinderella S Stepsisters, So He Downplays Their Traditional Ugliness Asia Is Slightly Overweight, And Dru Sports A Unibrow The Vibe Is Like A Cross Between The Addams Family And Grimm With A Little Rocky And Bullwinkle Thrown In, As Various People Cartoonishly Try To Kill Their Spouses, And RJ Is Drawn To Asia S Violent Nature Juvenile Glee Drips From The Twee And Faux Shocking Allusions To Sex Toys, Foot Fetishes, And Transsexuality, And The Gratuitous Pop Culture References Are Already Somewhat Dated, Leaving This Clumsy Romp Notably Lacking In Redeeming Features.

[Reading] ➾ Curses! A F***ed Up Fairytale  By J.A. Kazimer –
  • ebook
  • 321 pages
  • Curses! A F***ed Up Fairytale
  • J.A. Kazimer
  • English
  • 19 May 2018
  • 9780758278128

    10 thoughts on “[Reading] ➾ Curses! A F***ed Up Fairytale By J.A. Kazimer –

  1. says:

    Among other things, this book is aptly titled, because let s face it and get this out of the way right now this isn t your mother s fairy tale Is that a bad thing Hell no Sure, the antics are a bit outrageous at times, but one definition of good comedy is that it resides in the extremes, and there are plenty of extremes to be had I could give you a play by play, but you should enjoy it for yourself the first time, without me spoiling most of the fun for you And there is fun to be had if, like the characters, you let yourself go for a bit, or as long as it takes you to go from Once upon a time to The End.Having met the author at the 2012 Left Coast Crime Conference, I was a little hesitant to read this book on my Kindle, even though I purchased it from on May 1, 2012 What if I didn t like CURSES or I developed a different impression of the author after having read her novel Those concerns seem rather trivial now, after having read, and thoroughly enjoyed this tw...

  2. says:

    Soodespite my prolonged absence from GR, I m not dead And to celebrate that fact, this is my first review in awhile I wish it could have been a slightly positive review, but one takes the cards one s been dealt, I guess.I picked this book because I m a big fan of authors Jasper Fforde and at times Christopher Moore I include them in the same list because their books tend to have very irreverent attitudes, yet somehow manage to wallop you with actual plot and character developments at the end, and I d hoped that Kazimer might be a fledgling version of Fforde or Moore Unfortunatelyno, not really First, a good thing the humor in this big is present in a big way For the first third of the book, I found myself laughing out loud Our protagonist, R.J., was once an evil villain, but has since been removed from the villainous union and is cursed to be nice until he can get his life back on track Asia is his love interest, who, naturally, is the smoking hot ugly step sister of Cinderella Was her killer lurking somewhere I smiled at the thought, remembering the joy of lurking Ah, the good old villaino...

  3. says:

    Disclaimer I begged Julie for an advance copy, which she sent to me It s pumpkin orange.Okay, think of the books that you quote Not books of literature, but the ones where you grab nearby passers by and say, Wait, wait, listen to this and then read something sly and witty and look at them expectantly Now, because these people are most likely thinking about a getting away from you or b sex, they re usually not impressed However, once in a rare while, you run into someone who CAN QUOTE THE NEXT LINE It s like heaven This is that kind of book Peeling the cookie open, I licked my lips in anticipation of its sugary goodness and informative, if not valuable summation of my future The cookie read THE DELIVERY KID LICKED YOUR EGG ROLL.HAVE A NICE DAY Damn Foiled again by a teen with metal in his head than Snow White had sugar midgets.Hi Ho, Hi HoOff to scrub delivery kid spit out of my mouth I go I ll do up to Have a Nice Day, and you ll do the rest Heav...

  4. says:

    The book was not NEARLY as entertaining as the description made it sound I went into it expecting a humorous book that would make me laugh out loud with references and satire Instead I had a couple of ha, cute moments and that was about it The story itself was an interesting take on the twisted fairy tale , emphasis on the twisted It is told from the viewpoint of RJ, a fairy tale villain who has had his villain privileges revoked RJ is cursed to only do nice things because the Villain Union deemed him unfit to be bad The real reason for this punishment is never clearly explained, only hinted at through vague references In the midst of this fate he meets Asia, one of Cinderellas step sisters, who asks for his help in finding Cinderella s murderer He agrees, but only because his nice curse compels him to What follows is a murder mystery that bumps and jerks along in a weird sort of flow RJ is repeatedly assaulted, has numerous black outs and keeps waking up in strange places with different people lying near him The writing is very circular, taking the same themes and re running them over and over The word villain is used about 100 times too many Villain Union , Villain Code , Villainous clothes , Villainous impotence Yes we get it, he s a bad guy forced to be the hero Wonderful, now move on The one good thing about the story was that it did keep me guessing I like the murder mystery type story because I like to be challenged to figure out t...

  5. says:

    Review Courtesy of Dark Faerie TalesQuick Dirty A raunchy mix of childhood fairy tales with very adult language and content.Opening Sentence A delivery kid stood in front of me in the pastel hallway of my four story walk up on the edge of the Easter Village.The Review Finally, a book that lives up to its title F ed up doesn t even begin to adequately describe all of the high jinks in this book of fairy tale fallacies It turns all the things we think we know about our beloved fairy tale characters and puts them on their heads I don t think that I have laughed this hard reading a book in a while.RJ, and you can guess his real name, is in a funk The Villain Union has put him on mandatory health leave and cursed him to do shutter only good things What an outrage So when the not so ugly step sister of Cinderella, Asia, comes to him for help in solving her step sister s murder, he does Damn union This plunges him head first into a f ed up case full of curses, crisis s, and catastrophes that make him want to cry wee wee wee all the way home.RJ is a wonderfully devious character He lies, cheats, and steals his...

  6. says:

    This is so crazy and funny You can t help but love the unique take on fairy tales with a naughty side.

  7. says:

    You guysthe title of this bookI can t I freaking love it This f ed up fairy tale follows RJ, a top villian currently cursed with being nice So when a beautiful damsel in distress asks for help solving her sister s murder, RJ has no choice but to put his villainous ways behind him and help the princess out RJ can you guess which Disney villian he is our protagonist, was pretty wonderful Bemoaning his lack of villainous ability, he fights the title of hero until the very end His adoration of Asia, our heroine, was my favorite It s lust at first sight for RJ, and many hilarious and adorable and weird encounters follow Asia herself was a bit of a mystery I liked her, but I didn t feel like I knew her well Anything I want to say about her involves spoilers, somoving on The mystery is the central focus and the part that dissapoints me a bit It had a great flow, leaving you hints here, doubts there I was all ready to be shocked in the end by this otherwise outrageous novel But then it rather justfizzled Over 200 pages of mystery and we get this short little scene about what happened and why It just didn t feel complete, and wasn t a deserving or conclusive end to this bizarre and hilarious novel N...

  8. says:

    You can tell by the title this isn t your average fairy tale Curses tells the twisted tale of RJ, a disgraced villain forced into doing good when the villain s union puts him on leave He s a bad boy who can t say no, especially to Asia, the not so ugly stepsister to Cinderella.Cinderella s been whacked by a devious bluebird and the crosstown Fairy Second Street bus Asia wants to know whodunit, and RJ might want to help her even if he wasn t cursed The redhead s lips curved into a frown, which only added to her beauty She looked like sin, the dirty kind with plenty of sweat and saliva Thus begins a once upon a time unlike any other More raunchy than Shrek and just as clever Has the bloody heart of Once Upon a Time but is much less serious Spins fairy tale pop culture references like an enchanted Joss Whedon show Pick up this fun, wild ride and find out what really went on when Miss Muff...

  9. says:

    How many times can an author write the word villian before it becomes an annoying noise How many times can a main character black out before we should start worrying about brain damage J.A Kazimer tried so very hard to be witty and raunchy, but I found myself rolling my eyes any time RJ and Asia were alone The sexy scenes read like cheap Janet Evanovich, and I actually like her Stephanie Plum series Make no mistake, the story is pretty decent, but I give this only one star because parts of it were SO BAD If I were a freshman in high school, maybe I d be appreciative of Kazimer s colorful metaphors and awkward descriptions, but as a 23 year old, they seem tacky and juvenile in a way If you re looking for a laugh and a light read, su...

  10. says:

    This is not your typical fairy tale Oh but it is hilarious When RJ thought he ate Asia, I couldn t stop laughing If you want a funny spin on a fairy tale, you ll enjoy this book.

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